Then Delilah pouted, “How can you say you love me when you don’t confide in me?
you love me when you don’t confide in me? |
Samson was God’s chosen man, but he had a penchant for ungodly women. He was destined from
birth to play a vital role in liberating the Israelites
from the rule of the Philistines. God endowed him
with supernatural physical strength and cautioned
his parents that he was never to cut his hair, the secret
to his strength. Samson engaged in many exploits
that displayed his awesome muscle power; his enemies did not stand a chance against him.
Then he fell in love with a greedy, conniving
Philistine woman named Delilah. After many
attempts using the age-old, guilt-inducing “if you
love me, you would…” argument, she manipulated 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue 5/30/07 1:04 PM Page 21
Samson into telling her the secret to his great
strength. Then, for financial gain, she betrayed his
trust and revealed the mystery to his enemies. They
promptly shaved his head and he became as weak
as any other man. Having subdued him, they gouged
out his eyes, bound him with chains, and forced him
to grind in the prison. A broken and powerless man,
Samson never regained his former glory.
One day during an event in which the Philistines
were making sport of him, he stood between two
temple pillars, prayed for one last infusion of supernatural strength, and literally brought the house
down The collapsing structure killed
him and more than 3000 spectators and government
officials. This was the tragic end of a strong man who
was weakened by a manipulative woman. Manipulation can destroy not only a relationship but also
a person’s life.
Today many men suffer from what I call “Delilahphobia,” the fear of disclosing their vulnerabilities.
They have decided it is much safer to keep their
weaknesses to themselves, rather than having the
opposite sex use this sacred knowledge against them.
Of course, their fear prevents them from achieving
real intimacy with the opposite sex. It is critical that
neither man nor woman should ever mention in a 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue 5/30/07 1:04 PM Page 22
manipulative or retaliatory way their entrusted
knowledge of the personal fears and weaknesses of
another.
Manipulation is a crafty use of the tongue and
a self-perpetuating vice. Once manipulators find that
their craftiness helps them to achieve their objectives,
they become proud of their “smooth operating”
skills. They will use all kinds of indirect tactics
ranging from “guilt trips” to portraying themselves
as innocent, suffering victims of various circumstances. They may even start to enjoy their ability to
influence others in such a manner. Why, I have heard
men boast, “I can get a woman to do anything!”
While manipulators are subtle and make every
attempt to cloak their self-serving motives, they often
forget that many people are very discerning and have
a keen sensitivity to such insincerity. Further, manipulators lose all credibility once people become
aware of their propensity to engage in such behavior.
People will suspect that they always have ulterior
motives and will avoid them like the plague.
Some people are bold enough to confront
manipulators and to call their motives into question.
Jesus did so when His enemies sent spies to Him
posing as sincere religious people. The spies were to
manipulate Him into speaking against the Roman
Day 3—The Manipulating Tongue 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue 5/30/07 1:04 PM Page 23
government. They attempted to flatter Him by complimenting His integrity and His impartiality. Then
they asked the question they thought would surely
be self-incriminating and land Him in jail: “‘Is it
lawful for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?’ But He
perceived their craftiness, and said to them,‘Why do
you test Me?’. He proceeded
to explain that they should give to Caesar, the Roman
emperor, whatever belonged to him and to give to
God what was due to Him. He refused to be a victim
of their manipulation. Further, we never read of Jesus
manipulating anybody. He always offered everyone
a better way of life but accepted their decision to
pursue another option even when it was not in their
best interest.
It would behoove us to emulate Him in this
regard. Manipulation is deceptive and attempts to
take away a person’s freewill choice. God’s children
must not practice nor tolerate such behavior.